SHOULD YOU EAT BABIES DURING SATURNALIA?

The Roman poet Catullus referred to Saturnalia as optimo dierum, the “best of days.” But the burning question remains - should you eat babies during Saturnalia? Well, the short answer is no. Come to think of it, the long answer is also no, but you might be excused for thinking you should.

This most popular Roman festival occurs near the winter solstice and honors the god Saturn. Saturn might be more specifically categorized as a titan, that race of deities like his brother Janus who preceded the more familiar gods like Jupiter, Neptune, Pluto etc.

In fact, Saturn was the father of Jupiter and others. Concerned that his children would usurp his throne, he did what any parent in that situation would do: he ate them right after they were born.

*The scant remains of the Temple of Saturn at the Roman Forum*

But his wife, Ops, wanted at least one of her children to live outside their father’s gut, so when Jupiter was born, she wrapped a pile of rocks in swaddling clothes and watched Saturn eat it in one gulp, none the wiser.

Saturn’s fears would prove well founded. Jupiter eventually grew up and usurped the throne and, after freeing his siblings, bound their father in ropes to prevent him from further shenanigans.

Despite this sketchy history, Saturn was still the god of time, wealth and agriculture, and just because he was bound didn’t mean he still shouldn’t be revered and honored in hopes of obtaining a good harvest.

As with most things Roman, these myths have their origins in Greece. While the Roman author Livy dates the first Saturnalia to the 5th century BC, it likely began centuries prior.

Whatever its beginnings, Saturnalia was a time of remembrance. Saturn had presided over the Golden Age, a time before inequality among humans, when money didn’t exist and food magically appeared. For a brief time, usually a week, Romans honored those lost days with a festival celebrating chaos and role-reversal, all accompanied by feasting and partying the likes of which relatively staid Roman society could only countenance once a year.

Rome shut down during Saturnalia. Businesses and courts were closed, and the Senate did not meet. You were much more likely to encounter someone drunk than sober on the streets.

Decorations were de riguer. Holly and ivy were made into garlands and strewn about the city. Candles were lit to honor the return of light which, after the solstice, would return gradually each day. Dress codes were relaxed or inverted. The only one wearing a toga might be a slave, for instance. Class distinctions on seating at theaters and the Colosseum were discarded; a woman might sit on the front row rather than stand in the galley atop the structure.

Sidebar: Here’s an easy bar bet you can win. Ask the mark, “do the days get longer or shorter in the winter?” Their impulse is to pick ‘SHORTER’, but as of the first day of winter, the days start getting longer, so ‘longer’ is the correct answer. Just be careful how you word it and try not to get punched when you declare victory.

A key part of Saturnalia was role-reversal, specifically where slaves and masters took on roles normally prescribed to the other. Masters served meals to slaves, slaves could be insolent towards their masters; slaves could gamble, masters did some of the chores.

Each household had its own level of participation, so it’s probably a mistake to assume that the roles were completely reversed. Some sources mention that slaves still prepared the meals regardless of who served them. While this may have provided a temporary escape valve for the built-up pressures of servitude, it may be seen in another sense as reinforcing the institution of slavery. More on that below.

*Saturnalia by Macrobius, the most complete work we have on the festival, though it still lacks many details about how it was celebrated.*

Saturnalia was also a time of general chaos. Each household named a King of Saturnalia - a low-status person, perhaps a child but more likely the lowliest among the slaves - whose word must be obeyed provided his commands were of the “drink more!”, “get naked!” or “start dancing!” variety. Feasting was an integral part of the festivities and was viewed as an offering to Saturn, thanking him for his generous harvest surplus, whether that bounty was real or imagined.

Statues of Saturn were typically displayed with hands and feet bound with ropes, but these ropes were loosened during the festival. Hey, even baby-eaters deserved to cut loose once a year! Depending on the statue’s size, it may take a reclined position on a couch as an honored guest.

A key feature of Saturnalia was gift-giving. This typically occurred on the last day of the festival whose duration ran from 3 to 7 days over Rome’s history. The gifts were usually trifles - cups, dice, toothpicks and nuts were common. The gifts often came with a twist - a bald man might receive a comb, for example. Among the well-heeled, gifts might be more elaborate. These could include silver bangles or furniture. One writer notes a gift of a parrot taught to say, “hail Caesar!” Restrictions on gambling were eased but rather than coins, people gambled with nuts. This gave rise to the expression, “lost your Saturnalia nuts!” We should bring that back.

It might seem that Romans, in promoting role-reversals of slaves and masters, were aware of the deep iniquity of slavery. However, the topsy-turvy nature of Saturnalia more likely reinforces the institution - see what happens when we let slaves take over? Chaos! The poet Marshall cites a gift of whips given along with the following note: “Enjoy your time now, slave, because these will come out after Saturnalia is over!” While Romans enjoyed a good time, they were at heart a serious, driven people. An annual glimpse of “what if …” was enough to remind them of the benefits of the existing social order.

As for Saturnalia’s influence on Christmas, it seems difficult to distinguish from other winter festivals and the worship of figures such as Mithras and Sol Invictus, both of whom share the commonly acknowledged December 25th birthday of Jesus. The Romans also noted December 25th as the winter solstice, unlike our current acknowledgement of December 20th or 21st. As we see above, some customs like decorating with holly and ivy, festooning our homes with lights, and the giving of gifts are shared with our modern Christmas. But in societies which celebrated a wide variety of winter festivals, it’s difficult to forge a direct connection between Christmas and Saturnalia. For example, at winter, holly and ivy are among the few green plants available for decoration; in the Bible, the Magi bring gifts to the infant Christ, so whether that, Saturnalia or some other tradition informs our current penchant for overspending on gifts is hard to pinpoint.

Surprisingly, Saturnalia endured for a couple of centuries after the rise of Christianity. By the end, it was regarded as a slave’s festival. There’s no word on whether any babies were eaten in honor of Saturn over its centuries-long celebration, but don’t risk being the first documented case. Like a true Roman, just enjoy some flamingo tongue and a glass of wine with seawater instead.

Io Saturnalia!

SHOULD YOU EAT BABIES DURING SATURNALIA?

HAPPY NEW YEAR, PLEBS!

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